Many Happy Returns — Erika in Labor, Cycle 1

Erika Howard woke up screaming. Screaming and in labor.

What the hell? She had given birth just a few hours ago.

Doctor Morris stood between her legs. He looked concerned.

How had they gotten her back on the table without waking her?

“What just happened?” Morris said.

The nurse, the plain one, screamed. What was her name? Erika couldn’t remember. The other nurse, the pretty one, fainted. Erika knew his name. He was Tom.

Outside the room several people screamed. Other moms in labor? No, one of them sounded like a man.

“What is it?” Erika said. “Twins?”

She hadn’t expected twins. She wasn’t expecting twins. The ultrasounds had showed one child. How could they have missed a second baby?

“I don’t know,” said Morris. “I’m not feeling well.”

“Well, I’m not stopping now, Doc!,” said Erika. “This train has left the station.”

Janet looked down at Tom, then at the doctor with a puzzled look on her face. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t …” Morris stepped back from between Erika’s legs. He picked up the chart that hung on a hook at the end of the birthing table.

“Howard,” he said. He looked at Erika, then again at the chart. “Didn’t we already…” Morris swayed, then put a hands on the table to steady himself.

“Yes, we fucking already,” Erika said. Her son Kyle had been born hours earlier, at 11 am.

She cramped again. The pain was excruciating. She screamed.

Morris repositioned himself. “Four centimeters?” he said. It was a question.

Jesus, Morris seemed to have no idea what he was doing.

“How the fuck did you not know about the second one!”

Morris didn’t answer. Instead he looked at Janet. “Did something just happen?”

“I was at a movie with Bob,” Janet said. “And then I was here.”

Morris looked at his watch and blinked. He held his wrist to his ear as if listening for the watch to tick. He stared again at the watch. “Digital,” he said, then brought it again to his ear.

He looked at Janet. “What time is it?”

Janet looked at her watch, then held it to her ear. She looked up at the wall. Erika followed her gaze.

The clock read 3:31.

“I don’t understand,” Janet said.

Morris said, “What day?”

“What day?” Erika said. “How fucking long was I asleep?”

“Sunday?” Janet said.

“No, I’m off on Sunday,” Morris said. “My watch says Saturday. 3:33 pm.”

“Hey, yo, who gives a crap about your watch? I’m giving birth here.”

Janet looked at her watch. “Mine, too.”

Morris looked up at the clock on the wall. “I was watching the Diamondbacks.”

“Are you going to deliver this goddamned baby or not?”

“I thought I did.”

What the hell?

“My second baby, you fucking quack.”

Morris pointed between Erika’s legs and frowned. “You’ve never had a baby before.”

“Don’t you tell me I’ve never had a baby,” Erika yelled. “He’s in your nursery.”

“I’m really not feeling well,” Morris said, and turned and walked out of the room.

Janet stared after him.

Someone screamed from down the hall.

Erika said, “Will somebody please tell me what is going on?”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Janet said quietly. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

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