Homer Vulkovsky siad, “Where can I place a bet?”
The woman behind the glass wall said, “You can’t. Betting is suspended.”
“No, you can’t! I need to place a bet. For today. The Yankees against the Red Sox in New York. I want to bet on that.”
Homer really wanted to bet. If what his cousin Sniffy had said was true, then everything had gone back in time. And if everything went back in time, then he knew how the game would turn out. And if he knew how the game would turn out, he wanted to place a bet. It was a sure thing, and he needed a sure thing in his life.
“Like I said, we’re not taking bets now.”
“Why the hell not? I need to place this bet!”
“Kid, we ain’t taking bets. We’re still trying to figure out what to do with the bets we already got.”
“You don’t understand. I want to bet on the Red Sox.”
“Against the Yankees?” The woman smiled. “Let me guess. Seven to three in twelve innings?”
Homer said, “Uh, yeah, how did you know?”
“They played that game yesterday. We paid out already.”
“But the game is later today!”
The woman laughed. “Listen, kid, you trying to scam me? You think you can tell the future?”
Shit, Homer thought. Was it that obvious?
The woman said, “Hey, don’t feel bad. You ain’t the first idiot to try that.”
Homer tried to recover. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You think you know the final score of tonight’s game, because you watched it last night. Or you watched it later tonight. Or something like that.”
Homer was crestfallen. Apparently other people had already thought of his brilliant idea, and they had spoiled it for him.
“Well, I have news for you, pumpkin. The game has been cancelled.”
“What?” Homer said. “But it *can’t* be cancelled? I watched it on satellite TV. It happened. It can’t be cancelled.”
“Well, it’s cancelled,” the woman behind the glass said.
“How can that be?”
“I don’t know, kid. And in any case, we ain’t taking no bets right now.”
Homer turned and walked out.
Tags: manuscript