Q. Hi, Faith. Tell me about yourself.
A. I’m dead.
Q. Okay, tell me how things were before you were dead.
A. Things were pretty good right up until I was dead.
Q. Getting it on with Zoe?
A. Yes. That boy is super hot.
Q. You like younger men?
A. At the moment. Maturity is overrated. This kid is… attentive.
Q. And you weren’t getting that from Dan?
A. Not lately. I haven’t been getting much of anything from Dan. Nothing except growls mostly, punctuated by yelling now and then.
Q. What did you want from Dan?
A. The usual stuff.
Q. What’s the usual stuff for you?
A. Raise some kids. Have a family. Make a life. That kind of stuff.
Q. So it wasn’t turning out the way you wanted? There’s a lot of that going around in this story.
A. Oh, don’t compare me to that sad sack Amy. That chick has no spine. And what does she want out of life? She wants to be a waitress! Good grief, she can’t even make that happen.
Q. What do you want out of life?
A. I want spark and zing. I want to feel alive. I want a buzz. Excitement.
Q. Like cheating on your husband?
A. I’m not sure it’s cheating if he doesn’t want what I’m giving away elsewhere.
Q. But is that part of why you’re diddling Zoe? Because of the excitement of cheating?
A. It does add to the appeal. But mostly the boy is good at what he does.
Q. You keep calling him a boy. What’s up with that?
A. Have you taken a good look at him? Not a wrinkle or sag anywhere on that gorgeous body.
Q. So he’s young, hot, and good in bed. And there’s the excitement of cheating, the danger of it. Is there anything else about him that appeals to you?
A. He’s available.
Q. It sounds as if this is mostly just a sex thing.
A. Well, yeah, that’s because it’s mostly just a sex thing.
Q. Does Zoe agree about that?
A. (pause) You ask a lot of questions.
Q. Yes, I’m trying to interview you here, to get to know you. And you’re avoiding that question. So Zoe thinks this is something more than just sex?
A. He’s a kid, what does he know? He’s broken plenty of hearts in his young career. I’m sure he can take it.
Q. Sounds as if you don’t care much about how this affects him. And it sounds as if you’re trying to justify what you’re doing. “He’s young.”
A. Didn’t you ever get your heart broken? You got over it.
Q. There it is again. More justifying.
A. I’m having a good time. Anything wrong with that?
Q. That depends on who else is involved and who’s getting hurt.
A. Well, he knows I’m married. He’s no saint, either.
Q. You’re full of rationalizations.
A. And you’re full of judgment.
Q. Probably so. I do have to make a moral judgment out of you, for the story.
A. So what’s the moral?
Q. I don’t know yet. What do you need to learn?
A. How the hell would I know? If I knew that — if you knew that — you wouldn’t need to write the story.
Q. Good point. So I have to force you somehow to see the effects of what you’re doing.
A. Well, that won’t be too hard. I knew what I’m doing. I just don’t care.
Q. I don’t believe you.
A. (silence)
Q. So, how much of the excitement here is about the danger? I mean, you know how controlling Dan can be. And how vindictive. You must know that, and you must know that you’re putting yourself in harm’s way.
A. In the end, Dan doesn’t have the spine to do anything about it. He doesn’t want to lose his house and his money.
Q. Well, divorce isn’t the only danger here.
A. Yeah, I guess I can see that now. Who knew Dan had it in him? He must really care after all. But it’s a bit too late, and his way of showing it isn’t the most romantic.
Q. Hey, he shot Zoe in the nads, didn’t he?
A. Yeah, that showed some flair. Maybe I underestimated the poor sap.
Q. So was all this a cry for attention? You just wanted to get Dan’s attention?
A. No, I wanted some excitement. In particular, I wanted some steamy sex. If I get attention from that, I’ll take it. But that’s the icing on the cake.
Q. What do you want from Dan now?
A. I want him to stop shooting me.
Q. And Zoe?
A. Sure, that, too.
Q. What are you going to do to get him to stop shooting you? Barricading the door didn’t seem to help.
A. I don’t know. Jumping out the window naked doesn’t seem like a good idea. Maybe if Zoe gets a spine he can help out. Did you see him duck behind the bed? Twice?
Q. You’ve talked about three people now who have no spine. It sounds as if standing up for yourself is important.
A. Well who else is going to? You have to stand up for yourself. Jesus, what kind of wimp are you?
Q. You like strong men?
A. I’m with Dan, aren’t I?
Q. And with Zoe.
A. Zoe’s a wuss.
Q. A minute ago he was a hot stud.
A. That was before the bullets started flying.
Q. So why haven’t you stood up for yourself with Dan? Demanded what you deserve in a marriage?
A. At some point you know you got a turnip. You can demand all you want, but at some point, you gotta face up to reality. Dan’s just not enough.
Q. Not keeping you excited?
A. Not even trying any more. He used to. Holy shit, did he used to.
Q. Like how?
A. Just use your imagination.
Q. You mean just sexually?
A. No. Sexually, sure, but more than that. That won’t keep me interested for long. Do you know he took me skydiving once? That’s a fucking panic. I screamed all the way down. It was great.
Q. So… anything for a buzz?
A. A buzz of excitement. No drugs. Drugs kill the buzz.
Q. Alcohol?
A. Who needs it?
Q. All right, I get it. Excitement is your thing. Is there a limit?
A. Probably. I’ll let you know if I find it. (pause) Getting killed slowed me down a little. But, oddly enough, not that much.
Q. I mean, do you ever limit yourself? Are there things you want more than excitement?
A. Well, I gotta eat. I can’t eat every meal while skydiving.
Q. What else is there in your life? And don’t give me that “what else is there” crap. What else besides the buzz?
A. I like to take it easy, too. I like a nice cozy place to relax.
Q. What do you mean by cozy?
A. Like our house. Have you been there? It’s quite nice.
Q. Sadly, no, I haven’t been there. What’s it like?
A. It’s perfect. Enormous leather couches, a kitchen to die for, a master bedroom the size of Iowa. It’s really something. You should come.
Q. So… luxury?
A. Of course. Why settle for less than the best?
Q. And yet you drive a Ford Fusion.
A. You’re going to have to change that in the next draft. It was a nice metaphor, a nice symbol, but really, Dale, it ain’t me.
Q. All right, so you’re into excitement, and you like to relax in between full-out buzz modes. And you like luxury. Here’s a thought. Is luxury about how it looks and feels, or about status?
A. I don’t care about status. That’s for other people to worry about. I don’t want to keep up with the Joneses. I want to be the Joneses that everybody else is keeping up with.
Q. That sounds like status to me.
A. Well, I don’t mean it that way. I just want the frills of life. If everybody else is envious, that’s their problem. Three hundred dollar shoes really are so much nicer than 40 dollar shoes. We can afford it, so why not? Status doesn’t matter, trust me. In the end, you’re dead anyway, and status doesn’t buy you anything then except a nicer box. So why not enjoy life while you can?
Q. Okay: Excitement, relaxation, luxury. The finer things life has to offer. Let me ask you something else. What are you doing in my story?
A. I’m giving Dan a foil, someone he can work against. I’m one of his opponents. Or maybe an ally in the end, who knows. And while I’m at it, I can give you plenty of conflict with Goat Boy if you want it. Turns out he’s not all that interesting when the lights go on. And he sure ain’t no hero.
Q. So that’s your main role, to stand in opposition to Dan, and secondarily in opposition to Zoe. Is there anything you want for yourself?
A. Yeah, don’t make me one-dimensional.
Q. I mean within the story. What do you want for yourself?
A. I think I want to get out of this alive. The time loop thing is… I don’t know, a pain in the ass. I mean, I’m going to keep waking up with Goat Boy’s dick in me. Suddenly I’m not all that interested in that.
Q. That should be interesting.
A. And I’d like to find a way to keep Dan from killing me again. I guess what I want is to get out of bed, get dressed, and get the frock out of there. And do what, I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll think of something.
Q. Well, I got news for you, sweetie, you get lots of tries to figure it out. The time loop is going to go on for a long, long time.
A. Oh, you’re a real asshole, aren’t you?
Q. I hope so. Anything else you want me to know about you?
A. No, I think you have enough.
Q. Are there any other questions I should be asking you?
A. No, I don’t think so. Just don’t make me look like a total shit heel, okay?
Q. We’ll see.
Tags: manuscript